She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
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