toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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