Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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