why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
