I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
