I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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