We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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