hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
i just had sex bonerless
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
