marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
