With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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