I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
