I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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