Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Randomize
