we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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