I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
