Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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