Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
