yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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