If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
