You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Randomize
