if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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