I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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