It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
