And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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