so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
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