redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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