i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
