you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
