Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
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