He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
