I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
