I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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