Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
