Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
