Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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