He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
