Non-Jews are for practice
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
