Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Randomize
