Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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