Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize