i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
