Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
