If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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