i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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