my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
