Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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