Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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