I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Randomize
