Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
dude i'm inner monologue high
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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