we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
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