The maid of honor just puked.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
