And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
