I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
wanna go halves on a baby?
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
