i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Randomize
