I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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