Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
