1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Randomize
