we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
