Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize