Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
