I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Dick very happy bro
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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