just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
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