Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
