if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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