I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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