let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
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