ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
