you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
