Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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