So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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