yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize
