There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
