you guys were way drunker than both of me
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
