I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
