You're a womanizer and a bitch.
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
