She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
