pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Randomize
