can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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