Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
