Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Randomize
