Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize