I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
