I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize